Twilight TwentyFive Musings
by Touchstone67
Summary: Authors were given 25 single word prompts to created a series of musings, drabbles, and one-shots for the Twilight Twenty-Five. Pairings vary, ratings vary, characters/drabbles/one-shots may be from an already established story.
1. Twilight 25 Stagnant

**A/N: **When I wasn't thinking to clearly, I signed up for The Twilight Twenty-Five, found at thetwilight25(dot)livejournal(dot)com.

The idea is to interpret twenty-five one word prompts to write either a one-shot, or a 100 word drabble, all to be completed by December 1.

I began with the drabbles, and have some one-shots planned as well. The pairings vary, and some are moments from already established stories. Ratings will also vary.

These are completely unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine. Also, huge thanks to Dannie and Christie for their help. *HUGS*

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Stagnant  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jasper/Alice  
**Rating**: T

****~~****

Glancing up quickly when she walked into the room, I caught her amber eyes surrounded by stillness.

_A vision_.

"Alice?" I waited, and she shook her head clear. With a fake smile, she said down next to me and placed a hand on my chest, over my still heart.

"Jasper, does your heart still race when you see me?"

"Darlin' my heart hasn't raced in over a hundred years."

Gently, she laid her head where her hand had been, listening intently for something that she had never heard.

She had lost her bounce, and I had lost my racing heart.

**~~**

Thanks for reading….more to come!


	2. Twilight 25 Awkward

**A/N-Thank you to Christie for help on this one. **

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Awkward  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jasper/Bella  
**Rating**: G

****~~****

Tall, gangly like a colt with long legs and stretching arms that yearn to embrace the other's feminine grace, Jasper ambles behind Bella, lurching forward when the girl drops her pen and Jasper bends to retrieve it, their heads knocking together.

Warm laughter and soft, chocolate eyes dancing with merriment are Jasper's reward for his awkward attempt at chivalry. Bella smiles, thanks him, a flush stealing over her pale cheeks. He smiles back - all dimples and green eyes, Texas charm in place as he hands her the pen with a polite: "Here you go, Miss Bella."

All awkwardness forgotten.


	3. Twilight 25 Crave

**A/N-Thank you to Christie for her help on this one!**

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Crave  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jasper/Edward  
**Rating**: M

****~~****

Better than chocolate, more seductive, riper than the juiciest forbidden fruit, more addictive than a druggy dream-daze - HE - Jasper Whitlock - above all others, above all else, is what I crave, what my aching body and throbbing heart yearns for, the longing trembling through my soul, shaking me to the very foundation of my being.

One hit - lips wet and succulent, sweet and lush against mine- and I was addicted to him, craving his touch, his heat, the jade light of his eyes, the thrust of his cock, the pulling-pounding beat of his wild heart against mine.


	4. Twilight 25 Heart

**A/N-OMG could it be canon? From me? Hale yea….**

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Heart  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Edward/Bella  
**Rating**: T

****~~****

It used to beat.

It used to race at the sight of me.

It used to skip at my touch, my fingers in her hair.

It used to tell me how much I affected her, how alive and excited I made her feel.

It used to send a rush of blood to her ivory cheeks when I told her how beautiful she was. How I could never love another.

It used to tease me, sing to me, call to me with each beat that push her blood, my music, through her soft warm body.

It does these things no more.


	5. Twilight 25 Jealousy

**A/N-Thank you to Christie for her help on this one!**

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Jealousy  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jasper/Alice/Edward  
**Rating**: M

****~~****

She clings to him with tenacious fingers grasping, her mouth glued to the fullness of his, his hands sliding possessively down her slender back and the curve of her buttocks.

Mentally, I taste the sweetness of those longed-for lips and feel desire scorching through me, burning with green fire as those passion-drenched thoughts assail me - want, need, lust, desire... but what of love?

Low moans, whispered breaths, the soft slide of scarred skin that I ache to caress with jealous, longing fingers.

Alice peers at me, her eyes darkened with visions and my jealous eyes meet hers with knowing.


	6. Twilight 25 Wood

**A/N-This J/B pairing is from Safe and Sound. All moments from any established story are only possibilities and not a definite indication of where the story will go. **

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Wood  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jasper/Bella  
**Rating**: M

****~~****

Every morning was it the same thing. I woke with her warm body spooning mine, my arms around her, keeping her back pressed tightly against my chest. Her ass snug against my hips, my cock nestled between us, throbbing with morning ache, pulsing in my jeans. Stretching as she woke, she ached her back, and I inwardly groaned, rocking my hips back from hers.

"Mornin'," she murmured sleepily.

"Mornin' to you too. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. You?"

"Like a baby, sweetheart," I lied.

She had no idea what she did to me.

How hard she made me.

Every minute.


	7. Twilight 25 Platonic

**A/N-This J/E pairing is from Lost and Found/Safe and Sound-again only possible moments and not a direct indication of where either of those stories are heading.**

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Platonic  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jasper/Edward  
**Rating**: M

****~~****

No one suspected.

Not even Bella.

She never would have dreamed that last night Edward brushed the hair out of my eyes, traced my lips with this thumb before pulling me into a kiss, letting his tongue languidly taste mine.

She never would have dreamed that last night Edward cried out my name as he came down my throat in hot pulsing shots.

She never would have dreamed that last night I moaned as Edward filled me completely, his cock deep in my embrace.

She never would have dreamed that her best friends were falling for each more each day.


	8. Twilight 25 Raindrops

**A/N-This J/B pairing is from Safe and Sound. All moments from any established story are only possibilities and not a definite indication of where the story will go. **

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Raindrops  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jasper/Bella  
**Rating**: T

****~~****

Leaning my head against the cool window, I watched the thick drops splat, then slide down the glass. Unconsciously, I traced a finger along the intricate delicate patterns determined by the wind as we drove down the highway.

The thick silence in the truck was broken only by the constant rhythmic sound of the wipers, erasing the water from the windshield, clearing a path for angry blue eyes to stare out. His gaze now only hindered by wet amber waves sticking to this face.

If only what had happened between us could be washed away as easily as the rain.


	9. Twilight 25 Plea

**A/N-Huge thanks to Dannie for her help with this one. **

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Plea  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jasper/Edward  
**Rating**: T

****~~****

_Don't go._

A simple plea.

A simple request.

One that I would never make.

Holding my tongue, I watched him walk away from me, breaking my heart a little more with each step he took.

Always holding my tongue.

I never told him that I needed him like I needed to breath. Never told him that my world consisted of him; and him alone.

And now, I wouldn't tell him that when he left, I would end.

He threw me one last look over his shoulder before closing the door.

_Please...don't leave me_.

My desperate plea would never be heard.


	10. Twilight 25 Play

**A/N-This J/E pairing is from Lost and Found/Safe and Sound-again only possible moments and not a direct indication of where either of those stories are heading.**

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Play  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jasper/Edward  
**Rating**: T

****~~****

Long fingers brush over the keys, waiting for the inspiration to strike, the desire to once again play his music. Beads of sweat trail down the back of his neck where damp bronzed tendrils stick to his hot skin. Under his white t-shirt taunt muscles flex with tension, furrowed brows, pursed lips, and soft sighs are all signs of his frustration.

He hears me behind him, acknowledging my presence with a slight nod.

My heart races, images of the last time run through my mind.

"Play for me," I encourage gently.

_With me_, I hope feverishly.

"Always, Jasper," he promises.


	11. Twilight 25 Walls

**A/N-This J/E pairing is from an upcoming story of mine. Consider this a prologue of sorts, the story will be rated M, not T, however.**

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Walls  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jasper/Edward  
**Rating**: T

****~~****

Hard stone, cracked from attempts to break through their impenetrable protection surrounded him. His heart safely locked behind the fortress, not even a drawbridge allowing visitors across the long dried up moat of emotions.

Only unlike a real fortress, this one hadn't taken years to construct.

It had only taken one night.

One horrific, terrifying night that left his eyes empty of light, hands empty of mine, legs empty of energy and life.

Watching from a distance, I stood quietly by a tree, desperately trying to recognize this new boy behind the walls, wondering if he still had my heart.


	12. Twilight 25 Touch

**A/N-This J/E pairing is from an upcoming one-shot collab with Dannie-huge thank you to her for allowing me to borrow our J/E for this drabble. **

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Touch  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jasper/Edward  
**Rating**: M

****~~****

"What are you thinking about?"

"All the hedonistic things I can do to you tonight," I replied cockily, putting my game face back on. His fingers were in my hair, delicately separating my unruly sweat-dampened curls, I let my eyes drift close at his affectionate gesture.

It felt so fucking good to be _touched_. Just touched by someone else.

Not fucked, not fondled, not even kissed...just touched.

"Mmmm, I like the sound of that," he murmured, his voice husky. "Shall we get started?"

Sighing, I opened my eyes, saddened the touching was over, and we were back to the fucking.


	13. Twilight 25 Sky

**A/N-This J/B pairing is from Safe and Sound. All moments from any established story are only possibilities and not a definite indication of where the story will go. **

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Sky  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jasper/Bella  
**Rating**: M

****~~****

We had camped out many nights previous, but this one was different.

Tonight, under the dark blanket of the Texas sky, decorated with stars of wishes, we slept together as one.

After moans of pleasure, and cries of ecstasy, our limbs entwined after passion well spent, our bodies stated from lovemaking as we held each other in slumber.

The openness of the night around us, freed us from complications of the one we missed, we longed to be with once again, instead leaving us nothing but each other for comfort.

We comforted our aching hearts by comforting our yearning bodies.


	14. Twilight 25 Juvenile

**A/N-Totally canon again… am I feeling okay?**

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Juvenile  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Edward/Bella  
**Rating**: T

****~~****

The glares drove me insane.

Warm dark brown eyes challenged amber ones to cross that invisible line of safety, daring to break the treaty. Jake's strong warm muscles waited to pounce, a growl settling deep in his chest.

Edward's stone body graceful even in completely stillness, waiting for the signal to move, a snarl curling at his lips as hands clenched at his sides.

The wind blew their scents, mixing the two enemies smells together, swirling between them as they wrinkled each of their noses in disgust.

I stood by and watched, tapping my foot with impatience at their antics.


	15. Twilight 25 Soft

**A/N-This J/E pairing is from Lost and Found/Safe and Sound-again only possible moments and not a direct indication of where either of those stories are heading.**

**The word "soft", and all its varied forms, is dedicated to DefinitelyStaying**

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Soft  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jasper/Edward  
**Rating**: M

****~~****

Long and thick and _soft_, nestled in wiry bronze curls, it rests against sweaty skin, traces of his orgasm still dripping from the slit, the head now glistening with my own shared milky fluid, as he pants breathlessly, while our lips meet softly.

Our cocks' current sated states are a result of our grinding, moaning, hands stroking and pumping driving us both toward our mutual euphoric release.

His head rests on my chest, my hands in his hair, soft and silky and shiny.

"I love you," his whispers softly for the first time, my heart swelling with each syllable uttered.


	16. Twilight 25 Sour

**A/N: ****Thanks to Dannie for her help with this one! **

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Sour  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jasper/Edward  
**Rating**: M

****~~****

Watching their playful antics makes my stomach turn.

Witnessing their small affections makes my eyes water.

Feeling their lust for one another leaves a sour taste in my mouth.

Jealousy.

It should be me writhing underneath him, calling out his name, raking my fingertips down his back. Not the insignificant brown haired human by his side right now. She isn't worthy of his attention.

I am.

The sour taste is back full force as I see her climb in his lap and I know it should be me wrapping my legs around him.

I swallow my jealousy and walk away.


	17. Twilight 25 Light

**A/N-**A bit of pseudo canon…..

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Light  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Bella/Jake  
**Rating**: T

****~~****

He was my warmth, my sun I called him, a ray of hope that slightly brightened the darkness that had settled deeper in my soul each day Edward was gone. With a bright smile, he had loped into my life, offering to carry my burden on his strong back, taking it away.

"I can do it so much better than he ever could. You deserve more," he had pleaded, his huge hands engulfing my own as I sat beside him.

Edward's images flashed before me, faint and broken.

Could I say goodbye to the night and hello to the sun?


	18. Twilight 25 Worship

**A/N-**A bit of canon fun…

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Worship  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jake  
**Rating**: T

****~~****

He couldn't possibly understand how I felt.

His heart was long dead, had stopped beating decades ago, there was no way for him to possibly know the deep instant love I feel for her.

Her warmth contradicted his cold, yet matched my heat perfectly.

For years, I have waited for this moment, this second in my life where I would realize my life was complete, and fulfilled.

I might be young, but my soul knew its mate the second she entered the world.

Now, if only her father would accept that I will be the man in his daughter's life.


	19. Twilight 25 Aesthetic

**A/N-**A bit of Vampy Jasper.

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Aesthetic  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Bella/Jasper  
**Rating**: T

****~~~****

"How did you get them?" she asked quietly, her fingers lightly tracing along each one of the scars on my back and shoulders. There were many, strips of raised skin overlapping each other in complicated designs left on my body by the most brutal of circumstances.

I turned my head to face her, eyes hooded in lust, licking my lips, hoping to distract her from her question, one I didn't want to answer.

"Nice try," she winked. "Tell me."

"Long, complicated story."

"Well, I want to know." She leaned down, kissing each scar, her full lips heating my cool skin.


	20. Twilight 25 Crusade

**A/N-**Another little peek into an upcoming story….

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Crusade  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jasper/Edward  
**Rating**: T

****~~****

He had shut me out, tearing me apart, leaving my chest a gaping open hole where my heart used to be. The heart that beat with every breath he took, every word he spoke, every touch he graced me with.

His life was different now. I got that, really.

I tried to be patience until he would return to me.

The longer I waited, the more I realized he wasn't going to do it alone. He needed me to help him realize his life would continue.

I would make it my duty, my crusade, to see him complete once again.


	21. Twilight 25 Voracious

**A/N-**Some slashy fun…Jasper always did have a healthy appetite.

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Voracious  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jasper/Edward  
**Rating**: M

****~~****

I wanted more. The more of him I had, the more of him I wanted.

Fuck, needed.

As his body lay next to me, warm and naked, the moon cast a silvery glow across his firm back, shadowing the muscles as they occasionally twitched in his sleep. His hair messed from my hands fisting it as I writhed beneath him, calling out his name as my cock erupted between us.

On my side, I reached out to him, my hand hovering barely above his back, my fingers tingling with the anticipation of touching him once again.

"Touch me, "he begged.


	22. Twilight 25 Vivid

**A/N-A little twist on a neat canon quote….**

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Soft  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Bella/Jasper  
**Rating**: M

****~~****

I knelt before the hard polished stone, my eyes fluttering closed as the warm breeze caressed my skin, drying the many tears I had shed, blowing my hair around me.

My aching heart, torn open from grief, shattered by loneliness, coaxed me into feeling the imagined pale fingers brush the hair away from my face one last time.

"You're wrong, you know. You were worth it," he whispered lovingly, each word more breathless as the image began to fade.

"How can you say I was worth dying for?" I murmured desperately.

"You're alive, and that alone was worth dying for."


	23. Twilight 25 Erosion

**A/N-**This J/E pairing is from** Safe and Sound/Lost and Found**. All moments from any established story are only possibilities and not a definite indication of where the story will go. This is also 100% unbeta'd, all mistakes, typos, grammatical etc are mine.

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Erosion  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jasper/Edward  
**Rating**: M

****~~****

Summer's warmth was still clinging, refusing to let go and give into the cool air of autumn. While clouds hung in thick and humid in the sky, the breeze coming of the ocean was warm as we walked along the edge of the water.

He spoke first, his voice holding a tentative tone," So, what did you want to talk about?"

I was close enough by his side that our hands would occasionally brush each others' as they swung back and forth. Glancing over, even briefly, I spotted the concern in his voice clearly showing on his face; furrowed brows creased into a 'v', his eyes, almost a direct match in color the ocean we were near, were heavy with weariness, his tense jaw muscles led to pursed lips. Every now and then, his teeth would snag his bottom lip, worrying it a bit before releasing it, only to run his tongue along it to sooth the biting. Rarely did Edward's calm demeanor crack, but today, there were gaping holes in that mask he always wore.

Perhaps I was the only one that could see his nervousness, perhaps because we were so close, in every way.

It was because of this closeness, this bond that I had never shared with anyone before, and that had me scared shitless. I was preparing to tell him some news that might potentially weaken our bond, our trust in each other to be open and honest.

He had done the same to me. Sure, it had taken him some time, but he had come to me, and told me about him and Bella.

Him and Bella.

That's how it _should_ be. Wasn't it always meant to be Bella and Edward? How could I tell him I coveted what should rightfully not be mine.

Fuck, coveted, more like desired, wanted, loved…

Yet, here I was, about to tell him about a kiss she and I had shared.

Technically two kisses.

One sober, one drunk.

Both fucking hot and sweet and just amazing.

I knew he loved Bella, he had told me, but I didn't know what kind of love he was referring to. My first thought was purely friendship love, one based on being there for one another no matter what, always ready to enter battle by their side no matter the odds.

Edward was that kind of person, he would stand by your side through it all, his strength not only never wavering, but he would let you borrow some of it too, he was someone you could depend on, above all others, to be there when you needed him.

Of this, there was no doubt.

Was I the same kind of friend? This is what _I _doubted, especially after having kissed Bella, twice, and having kept it secret from Edward.

I hated secrets.

I especially hated keeping anything from Edward, of all people.

Secrets ate at me from the inside out, like a cancer slowly placing guilt cells throughout my entire body, letting them metastasize and multiply, growing until the tumor was so big I couldn't help but feel constant pain from carrying it around, even if only in my conscious mind and not my physical body. Only there were no monthly treatments that would cure my guilt, my only choice to stop the corrosion of my soul was to tell Edward the truth.

Bella and I had kissed.

An act of betrayal that would surely cut deep into his sweet gentle soul, a wound that might never heal.

I looked out over the ocean, the waves ebbing at my feet, the sand sliding out from beneath me, each wave pulling more sand out from under me, gradually taking away my foundation.

Further down the beach, the same waves crashed into the cement seawall, each powerful hit of the salt water eroding, and minutely erasing, the formally stable structure. Eventually, nothing would be left but tiny grains of sand and rock and dust.

Edward was my foundation, and I was going to pull him out from under me.

"Jasper?" He had stopped walking, and ran a hand through his hair. Even without the sunlight, is eyes squinted, as he stood before me, shifting his weight back and forth. "Will you please tell me what's wrong?"

The wind blew his reddened hair; wisps swirling around his head in a heat miser kind of way, his white t-shirt billowed out at his sides, outlining his taunt form beneath.

Taking a deep breath, I forced my eyes to meet his, and my heart broke. Eyes that had been bright and clear only a few hours earlier were now darkened with worry and nervousness. Their green color had taken on a deeper, more weathered look.

Earlier that morning, I had walked into the kitchen and found Edward cooking breakfast for us all, as he did almost every weekend morning, happy and carefree, finally enjoying some downtime. Gratefully taking the cup coffee he offered me, I sat at the island and immediately began talking myself out of speaking to him today. Finding excuses of all kinds to avoid the conversation-anything from 'it wasn't the right time' to 'the kisses meant nothing, he didn't need to know'.

There would never be a right time, and the kisses did mean something. And he deserved to know.

I was just too much of a pansy to tell him, to man up and tell him. When he sat down next to me, I asked him if we could go somewhere and talk. His eyes bolted up to mine, widening a bit, before his façade was back, and he answered in an easy pleasant tone. It was his suggestion to come to the beach, we hadn't been in a while, and with the pseudo Indian summer day, he wanted to get outside and enjoy it, however brief it might be.

Smiling at him, I motioned to a nearby rock. It was huge, the gray slab easily large enough to fit us both. "Why don't we sit down?" With a weighted sigh, Edward complied, sitting on the rock next to him, immediately bringing his jean clad legs up to his chest; he wrapped his arms around his them, and rested his chin on his knees. Sitting across from him, I tried to give the appearance of being relaxed, stretching my legs out before me, leaning back on my elbows. I tilted my head, and stared at Edward, almost completely still in his patience, his eyes focused not on me, but rather the ocean behind my back.

Fuck, he was beautiful, even deep in his concern; there was not another man as sexy as him. The breeze picked up, tangling my curls around my face. Trying to delay the talk, and gather strength from the wind, I closed my eyes.

They were warm, warmer than I expected, and so fucking soft as they brushed the hair from my face, tucking it away behind my ears. When I felt the fingers gently trace my face, I opened my eyes and found Edward with sad smile, his way of encouraging me to continue.

"Whatever it is, Jasper, you can tell me," he whispered, his thumbs now resting on my lips, willing me to open them and speak. "Please," he begged.

I pursed my lips, kissing his thumbs before taking his wrists in my hands and putting them in my lap.

How do I tell him that even though I had kissed Bella, even though I loved Bella, it was_ him_ that I feared losing.

_His _heart I needed to keep safe.

_His_ soul I loved with all that I was.

With a deep breath, I began, "Edward, I have something I need to tell you…"


	24. Twilight 25 Mirror

**A/N-**Warning-there be dark times ahead, **thoughts and images of suicide**. If these offend, please do not continue. However, those interested in some heartfail, you have been warned. Also, completely unbeta'd (I couldn't depress her with this shit) so all mistakes etc are mine!

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Mirror  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: None  
**Rating**: M for dark themes

**~~**

Bare-chested I stand in front of the scared porcelain sink as I drag the razor blade slowly along the soft tender skin of my throat in a long upward strokes. My hands expertly guide the plastic handle over my Adam's apple, curving along the tougher skin of my jaw covered in the blond stubble, leaving trails of naked skin in the white foam. In my reflection, my eyes ignore the face in the mirror, instead they focus only on following the movement of my hand as it continues. In habit, after every stroke, I bang the razor on the side of the sink, dropping small whiskers in the dirtied sink, then quickly rinse the blade under the running water before reintroducing it to my throat once again.

After tapping the blade against the sink, I look down at it curiously, studying the thin pieces of metal with tiny hairs scattered on them. Such small weapons for the damage they could inflict, the life they could drain.

So sharp.

I run my index finger along the blade horizontally, crimson drops splatter onto the white porcelain below then landing, spreading out until they are only thin, faint pink drops before being captured by the water and circling down the drain. Turning my finger over, I inspect the slices closely, three thin perfectly straight marks now decorate my fingertip, the small flaps of skin already pale from lack of blood. I relish in the sting this self inflicted cut had brought me.

Suddenly, frighteningly, I realize I want more; I realize my heart is distracted by the burn of my finger. For a moment, I feel…something. Though certainly not normal. Not sure I will ever feel normal, whatever the fuck that is, again, but I do feel something other than the intense ache that has dug a hole in my black soul and nestled in my chest. With every beat of my dead heart, my blood pushed the ache of my heart through my body, making sure it wrapped tightly around every muscle, touching every fucking cell and fiber.

Bringing my wrist up close to my face, I study the blue tinted map of veins running just under the delicate layer of skin. I imagine how much the larger burn would ease the burden of my heart even more, distract the ache in my chest, even temporarily.

It would be so easy.

So fucking easy.

Glancing at the tub, it occurs to me that it would be the most appropriate place to perform such a messy task. The image of my naked pale, cold body, half covered up with luke warm pink tinted water flashes before my eyes. The blurry form of my legs, folded up to fit into the small tub, my boxers still on, not having bothered to get naked for the act, still modest knowing when my body is found, I don't want my privates on display for everyone. My eyes blank in death, half open, blue hue still visible, but the life behind them clearly not, just dark emptiness left behind. Damp curls stick to my face, mouth gaped open a bit as last breath escaped from my now bluish lips, as my head lay against the back of the curved tub. I see my wrist hanging over the edge of the tub, fingers with dirty fingernails dangling as the lines of blood run down them, dropping red blots onto the tiled floor where they pool before congealing, thickening to a syrup like texture. As the life drains out of me, it gathers on the linoleum, grouping there, the dirt and lint there discoloring it as it spreads out, gradually increasing the size of the puddle.

The dull florescent light above the mirror flickers and catches a tear reflecting into the mirror, drawing my eyes back to my face. I haven't looked at myself in weeks, avoiding seeing the broken man that had taken my place, my new best friend, the empty shell that I have. Silently, the tears fall from my eyes, down my cheeks and drop into the sink, mixing, blending with my blood there. Bloodshot eyes, dirty, greasy blond hair, pale skin and black circles greet me in my reflection. With a bloody finger, I reach up, tracing my face in the mirror, down my cheek, along the curve of my jaw line, now half shaved, smudging faint blood engraved with fingerprints along the marred mirror. Mesmerized by the bloody face now staring back at me; I realize the outside of my body was finally start to match the inside-bitter, dirty, worthless.

So easy.

I could physically do it. I am sure of it.

I couldn't emotionally do it. I am sure of it.

The desperation, the isolation, the fucking loneliness won't leave me, instead they have each wrapped their evil vines tightly around my soul, draining it more and more with each beat of my heart. Sucking, taking everything good from my life and replacing it with nothing but darkness, a darkness I can't see through.

Closing my eyes, my palms rest on the edge of the sink for balance as I feel the angel's warm hands wrap around my waist, the moist breath on my back as soft lips place tiny kisses along my skin, my muscles flexing under the brief caresses. Tiny fingers graze my abdomen, outlining the indentations shadowed there. Deftly, the tips of the fingers slide under the waistband of my jeans, over my boxers skimming the head of my growing erection through the thin cotton. I let my head lull back, feeling the shaving cream begin to slip down my throat a bit when my lips curl up into a satisfied smile.

The angel's breath tickles my ear as she whispers to me. "Hey, baby."

Not even sure the word is audible, but I choked out a 'hey' in reply, the vines strangling the word as it escapes me, denying her angel ears the chance to hear. She removes her hands from around me, and with one last kiss to my shoulder begins to fade away, unable to hear my response to her greeting.

_Please, angel, don't leave me. _

In my angle's eyes, I was a complete man, not the shell standing here, thinking of an escape route because he is too fucking weak to deal with the pain.

Thoughtfully, I stare at the fallen razor, tempting my fingers to reach and grab it. With little planning, I could be resting, suffering no more. I briefly wonder if I would leave a note, easing their minds of their involvement in my decision; or would I leave them wondering why for the rest of their lives.

I would do neither.

It wasn't my heart to stop anymore. My angel owned it, not me. It hadn't been mine since the day she walked into the lunchroom at Forks High all those years ago. I entrusted it to her, and she didn't even know it. I could only hope I had done the right thing. I hadn't even had the chance to ask her watch over it for me.

I considered this.

If she did have my heart, then how could it fucking hurt in my chest so much; the constant ache, tightening, throbbing always there just under the surface. How could my heart hurt if it wasn't even with me?

So easy.

So easy just to end the ache, to fill the emptiness with nothingness instead. I didn't realize I had dropped the razor until I hear it clink on the sink, sliding down the side, landing at the bottom while the cold water steadily flowed around it.

With a loud cry, I fall to my knees, my hands fisting my hair as the sobs wreak havoc on my body and soul, traveling through it forcefully. I fall against the cool tub, my hot flesh jumping at the contact, I draw my legs up to my chest, resting my forehead on my jean clad knees, the tears soaking through the material quickly, staining small dark uneven circles. Loud sobs fill the tiny room, as the uncontrollable emotions flowed throughout every cell in my body, seeking escape after being caged up for so long.

It fucking hurt.

So much.

I pray briefly for it to end. I pray longer for the strength I knew I didn't have to end it.

For what seemed like hours, I sat there, my body shaking from the exhaustion the emptying of emotions left behind. As my wailing cries withered into whimpers, I felt completely drained, my stinging eyes eventually dried, dehydration setting in.

Almost as if I had drained the blood from my body already.

I was weak. Physically weak from lack of sleep and food, mentally weak from being such fool and letting this happen. Letting the most beautiful thing in my life walk away without a fight; without even telling her how much she meant to me.

Those drops of blood now long washed away in the sink had her name on them, my blood was hers, my heart, my breath.

How could I go on without those things to survive?

As I sat there for hours, slowly I realize, I can go on with my life. I would be that empty shell of man, cold blood filling my veins instead of her warmth, bitter tasting air in my lungs instead of her sweet breath, stone harden muscle in place a soft thumping heart. With a few deep breaths, I picked myself up off the floor, once again facing the mirror.

I look at my eyes, blue hue still visible, but the life behind them clearly not, just emptiness left behind.

This was the man I would have to become if I was going to survive.

So easy.


	25. Twilight 25 Retribution

**A/N-**A bit of canon Jasper, a first for me. Big thanks to Polkadotmama and Dannie for their quick read throughs. This concludes my Twilight Twenty-five!

**The Twilight Twenty-Five**  
**Prompt**: Retribution  
**Pen name**: Touchstone67  
**Pairing**: Jasper/Peter  
**Rating**: M

Still.

I stood perfectly still, and had for the past five hours.

Nothing on my body moved with the exception of my eyes that never ceased scanning the land around me, and my hair that blew in the strong hot wind.

I was completely drained-which was a fucking pretty hard thing to accomplish. We, as vampires, weren't supposed get drained, or tired.

Yet, as I stood there on the edge of the river, my body _felt_ fucking tired. Although, there was no aching or hurting, other than the constant thirst that coursed through every hard fiber of my muscles, my skin, and my long dead organs.

The thirst hurt like a motherfucker.

All the fucking time.

No matter how many times a night I fed, it was there, in the back of my head. My body always called for more blood, more sweet warm fluid to flow down my throat, coating it in a thick stickiness that could never be equaled.

My fucking thirst was never quenched.

When I woke up from three days of a burning hell, and rest my eyes on the girl who I had first perceived as an angel, I screamed in despair, confusion, and thirst. While I sat against a tree, my Confederate uniform torn from my attempts to remove it during my change, the former angel sat before me, quickly explaining her plan to rule the South.

And how I was to be part of that plan.

Maria had decided I was to be the first newborn in her plan. Little did I know that her plan involved not only literally sacrificing my fucking human life, but decades and decades of my immortal life as well.

For someone ruled by emotions, for years I was somehow able to dismiss the feelings of longing for something different. Somehow, I was able to suppress the need to escape the dark war-filled life, if you even called it a fucking life, I led.

I did this by remaining busy.

I remained busy by…killing.

Humans, vampires, newborns.

Even feeding on animals was not beneath us. In fact, they were sometimes more useful to our army than I would have originally thought. Newborns were fucking strong, ferocious, and absolutely useless half the time. I had managed to control most of those in our army with my power, emitting wave upon wave of calming influences over the masses of newborns at the necessary times.

The human blood ran strong in them, giving them strength and speed. Sometimes, when time was not of the essence, we would allow them to only feed on animals. The blood of the animals was not nearly as potent to a vampire as a human's; therefore the newborns were often temporarily weakened by the watered-down blood. These times blessed me with some rest, even though it wasn't completely necessary, it was nice to be able to occasionally recuperate, even if only mentally.

Part of the reason Maria's army was so successful in her ventures to take over the southern covens was my ability to not only keep my newborns calm enough to marginally train them, but when faced with an enemy, I was able to use my power on them as well. For leverage, I could send forth emotional swells, often peaceful or soothing in nature, to the oncoming soldiers. It made it much more difficult for them to fight when their minds were telling them to surrender.

Having to control these armies was taxing, and there were always those that broke through my power. Even at my best, I was not able to cover every newborn every second. On my neck, arms, and torso I wore the evidence of the weakness in my power. Part of me bore these scars with pride, but mostly, they shamed me. Not only did they physically mar me, but mentally as well. With each bite, I felt the enemies' fear and anger. Each of these emotions that flowed in their bodies would seep into mine via their venom, making these two very powerful emotions even greater within me.

I had no use for fear. It weakened those that believed in it.

Anger, however, was very useful. As much I thrived on that feeling of power, it sometimes overwhelmed me. Little did they know, when their venom traveled into me, they only made me stronger.

They made me undefeatable.

After Netty and Lucy had been destroyed, Maria and I were alone in rebuilding her army, which had been done easily enough. Keeping a dozen or so newborns at our disposal, was not a difficult task for a vampire such as myself.

Until they outgrew their strength, or usefulness.

At first, I had no conflict in eliminating our own newborns. One by one, I would take care of them, efficiently decapitating them, removing their limbs, and throwing them into the inferno that emanated the smell of burning marble and dead flesh.

Eventually though, these sacrifices took their toll on me. Not only had we taken their human lives from them, but we were now taking their immortal lives as well. We took them from their families, their friends, their spouses and lovers.

Lovers.

Such a foreign word to me.

Certainly, I had had my share of fucking, and lovers. Occasionally, a few newborns would catch my eye, their firm breasts and asses called to my dick more often than I cared to admit for a southern gentleman.

But being a man, I answered this call frequently, although never with Maria. We had a business relationship and it never progressed further than that. While on more than one occasion she indicated she wanted more than my military skills, I adamantly refused her advances. This, most certainly, would piss her off and she would briefly rethink about my usefulness, her emotions betraying her thoughts to me. I would smirk at her with a raised eyebrow and she would turn on her heel, leaving me alone once again.

However, newborns proved very useful when it came to taking care of my masculine needs. I would often take them to the woods, or wherever was convenient, ripping their clothes off in less than a second so as to quickly sink my cock deep into them. No warmth surrounded me, only cold flesh that felt gloriously tight around me as I thrust into them with more force than any human ever could. When I would reach that moment of height, that climax, obscenities would flow freely from my mouth as I clawed and bit their body during my orgasm. They all left wearing a few new wounds, lasting confirmation of our tryst.

I had even been serviced by several newborn females at one time.

And even one male.

_Peter._

_At first, it was only to satisfy a need, a fucking curiosity, for each other. For months, we had circled the other, testing the waters with light touches on the arms, remaining on each other a bit too long while exhibiting fight maneuvers to others, our cocks hardening __as their they grazed __each other. _

_Of course, I could read his desire, his temptation for my perfect form, my tall toned body exciting him beyond the soft curves of any of the females. _

_Our first time was about six months after he was turned. We found ourselves eliminating a batch of older newborns, Peter's emotions in turmoil as he quickly made his way through his assignment. I could easily feel the conflict of his heart as he began to question our life, our goal, and whatever future he might or, as he was coming to realize, might not have. _

_While the bodies burned, I approached him cautiously, my gift flitting out to sample the intensity of his emotions, of his anger._

_All I felt was a deep, almost paralyzing, grief._

_Stopping under the weight of his sadness, I watched him as he knelt before the fire, crying and mumbling. My vampire ears caught the prayers to God to save his soul, the words that begged for forgiveness for the sins he had committed, asking for justice for those he had wronged, pleading he be next to be sacrificed. _

_Never before had I seen a sight. A vampire praying to God, our former creator, to save his soul. _

_We had no souls. God would not admit us to his kingdom of Heaven, should it exist. Never would someone who had done nothing but take the lives of the innocent be allowed entrance into a land of peace and tranquility. _

_Although, even with those thoughts, I could not bring myself to scoff at his weakness. Instead, I found myself kneeling behind him, a comforting hand on his shoulders as they shook with tearless sobs. Wanting to relieve him of his angst, I bowed my head, concentrating on absorbing his pain and replacing it with acceptance. _

"_Fucking stop it, Jasper," he cried."Just leave me alone. I don't want your fucking sympathy."_

"_It's not sympathy," I offered quietly._

"_The fuck it's not." He turned to me, suddenly furious. "I know my time is limited, I know eventually I am going to be nothing but ashes," he motioned to the bodies burning in the flames. _

_I shook my head, squeezing his shoulder in reassurance. "I won't let that happen, Peter. You are more than that to me."_

_Darting his eyes back to mine, he scanned my face for serenity. Lacking my power, he had only his instincts, his gut, to trust. "How can I believe you? How do I know you didn't tell everyone of them," he nodded to the inferno again ,"the same thing?"_

_Returning his look, I attempted to express truth in my voice. "You don't. You can only trust me. I realize I have not given you reason to, but perhaps someday that will change."_

_And it did change. For both of us. _

_Suddenly, his hands were cupping my face, holding me steady as his eyes gazed into mine. Scarlet irises that matched mine darted from my eyes to my lips. _

_Desire. _

_Need._

_Passion._

_Want._

_I felt them all in such a force that it took what breath I didn't have away. My already dead heart stuttered, the hard marble cracking at the overwhelming amount of rapture that poured from his body. Feeling that from him only increased the level of my desire for him, my never ending curiosity for his body became insatiable._

_Crushing his lips to mine, we met with tongues already exploring each others' mouths, tasting the venom that dripped from our fangs, some left over from our kills, but most created as a result from our craving of each other. _

_And how I fucking craved him. _

_Within seconds, we were naked, our clothes torn from our bodies with vampire speed._

_I lay atop him; our bodies flush as our hips ground into each other with a frenzy I had never experienced previously. Hard cocks, slickened by leaking venom, rubbed against each other feverishly in a heated pace as our hands yanked and fisted hair. _

_Not having to worry about hurting each other, when he begged for more, I forced myself into his embrace with a growl. Never had I felt anything so tight, so taut, as his ass around my cock. _

_It was not gentle lovemaking. I had never known gentle, having been a virgin when I entered the Confederate Army, my only human sexual experience was with a whore that my unit had arranged for me the night of my supposed twenty-first birthday. Little did they know I was only turning seventeen, and had barely held a girl's hand, much less had sexual relations with one. _

_Keeping one hand in my hair, he reached down, and began stroking himself in rhythm with my thrusts into his tight hole. _

"_Fuck," I moaned_ _as I felt his hand pump himself between us. I moved my mouth from his lips to his collarbone where I began to leave wet kisses over his luminescent skin."So fucking tight," I mumbled against him._

_As Peter's orgasm approached, I sensed a shift in his emotions. While lust and desire were still strong, there was an underlying feeling there, one of admiration, tenderness, an__d__ even the beginning spark of love. _

_Gasping when the love hit me, I drew my head back from his neck where I had been sucking on his hard skin, withholding my yearning to break his skin and mark him as I had __been__ so many times. _

"_Peter?" I stuttered, my forehead on his as my hips continued to thrust into him, only their pace had slowed, and was more sensual than sporadic, the small gentle circles allowing my cock to penetrate him deeply._

"_You feel it, Jasper?" he asked, his hand still working himself at an inhuman pace. Nodding, I licked my lips, wanting to taste him once more. "That's why I pray to God. I pray for him to save my soul so that we can be together someday. Some place peaceful."_

"_Peaceful…" I repeated quietly. It sounded so impossible. War was my life. There was no peace, no rest for my wicked embattled soul. "I can't have peace…I don't deserve peace."_

_Smiling, he pulled me to his lips, murmuring against them."But we can have love." _

_Love?_

_My head returned to his neck, my tongue darting out to lick his skin, the smooth texture enticing. "Bite me," he held my head tightly. "Take me as yours forever," he demanded. _

_Without a second thought, I sank my teeth into his marble skin, my jaw easily breaking through as he groaned; pumping his hips up into mine with such a force I almost slipped from him. _

_Venom, his and mine, coated my lips and mouth as I sucked his juices from him before releasing him, sealing his wound with my poison. His flavor still fresh on my mouth, I kissed his lips, letting him taste his nectar, that which had already turned so many, and killed many more. _

"_Jasper," he grunted as he came, his cock squirting streams of milky fluid onto our stomachs and chests. The spasms of his ass muscles around me were too much, and I quickly followed him with a cry that could be heard for miles, my own cock erupting deep inside him, filling him with my __cold, __seedless venom. _

_Never had I stayed with another after fucking them. I would always swiftly gather my items and return to camp. But with Peter, it was different. We held each other for hours, me still inside him, as we came down from our highs. Tender touches were exchanged, hands ghosting over naked skin. These touches were accompanied by words of love, promises of a future we could only imagine._

_We were lovers. _

_I knew this because __we did n__ot leave and head back to camp, but we made love five more times that night before even remotely considering returning to our duties. _

_As we returned to camp separately, I ran into Maria, her nose wrinkling at the smell of sex covering my body. _

"_Jasper," she scolded like a mother."What have you been up to?" she smiled not so innocently._

"_You know exactly what I've been doing. You asked me to do it." Her raised eyebrow encouraged an explanation."The newborns?" I hinted. "You had me eliminate the oldest batch tonight."_

"_Oh yes, of course. However, that is not what I was referring to." She leaned in, her nose practically touching my bare chest. "First, where is your shirt, second you reek of..." she concentrated."Peter!" she gasped, taking a step back. _

_I refused to hang my head in shame for my actions with my lover. Jutting my chin out, I readied myself for her wrath. Certainly, it was not acceptable for a man to be with another man in the way that we had. However, our circumstances were hardly typical, my sins were already so bloodied and deep, that having sexual relations with another man was hardly going to be what kept my soul out of heaven._

_Running a finger down my chest, she reminded me."Your shirt?"_

"_It was torn by a newborn as I ripped his head from his body," I countered, lying. Truth __was__ I hadn't been able to locate it, assuming it had been accidently tossed into the fire in our rush to undress each other. _

"_Hmm," she practically moaned, her fingertip circling my nipple. Reaching up, I grasped her wrist, pulling her hand from my chest._

"_Maria, stop," I ordered."It's not going to happen. How many times do I have to tell you."_

_With furrowed brows, she looked up at me, burgundy eyes wide with anger. "Oh you can fuck Peter, but not me? You can be with a man, but not with me?" She emphasized the word 'man', her accent thickening as her confusion grew._

_Debating on telling her the truth, I sighed. Looking around the camp for Peter, I found him a distance away, his stillness proof he was watching and listening to my conversation with our commander. I could sense his anxiety, his worry._

_I would not betray him. _

"_You have it wrong, Ma'am," I immediately fell into being a solider again, giving her the power over me she truly yearned for. "He was having a difficult time with a particular newborn, I only offered my services in aiding him in taking out the newborn."_

_Gazing up at me, she attempted to read my face, which I kept completely empty while I sent out ripples of honesty to her. _

"_Fine," she sighed, turning from me."Now prepare a plan for training our next group. I need them ready to take Gomez coven in a fortnight." _

"_Yes, Ma'am," I answered quickly, relieved._

_After she left, I looked through the darkness, my eyes landing on Peter as he stood watching me. His anxiety replaced by gratitude, and the spark of love he was letting burn. "Thank you," he mouthed to me. _

_I bowed my __head__, acknowledging his words, and accepting his spark, promising to keep it burning within me as well._

_Peter remained with us for an exceptionally long time for our newborns. Normally, they lasted a year, eighteen months tops. _

_Peter lasted three years. This was not without my doing. I spoke highly of him to Maria, using my power to convince her of his usefulness. He was confident in a fight, he commanded others easily, and for someone without a power, he was highly admired and respected. _

_For three years we traveled together, following Maria's orders, taking out covens one by one in her never ending need for control, and power, of Texas and northern Mexico. _

_For three years, he and I were comrades in arms and lovers in body and spirit. _

_He was my inamorato__. Mi amor._

_Until she came. _

_Charlotte was turned by Peter almost exactly two years from the day we had first discovered each other, our first relaciones sexuales__**. **__She was beautiful, I could not deny that. She also took to becoming a vampire quite easily, although her speed and strength did not compare to that of most newborns. The looks she and Peter exchanged were those of tenderness, and affection._

_I did not doubt that Peter loved me. Even with the arrival of Charlotte, I didn't doubt his feelings for me. But while I still sensed his love for me, his intensifying feelings for her quickly became comparable to those he harbored for me. _

_The day they left, the day I let them leave, was a dark one for me. Peter and I were performing our duties, taking out a batch of newborns that had outgrown their usefulness to Maria. When I realized the next name on my list was Charlotte, I glanced over at Peter, admiring his form as he effortlessly took out a vampire. He did not need my power to read the emotion on my face. I clearly displayed the regret and hurt I felt for him, knowing that killing Charlotte would be the most difficult of tasks for him. _

"_NO! No, Jasper, I won't do it. I won't let YOU do it," he grabbed the collar of my jacket, pulling me close to him, yelling in my face. "You can't."_

"_I have to, these are the orders." I stated simply. My heart broke for him, but it also felt relief. With Charlotte out of the picture, Peter would be only mine once again. I had grown tired of sharing him, his body only joining mine on rare occasions, while his heart was split evenly between us. _

"_Fuck the orders, Jasper," he spat."I fucking love her, do you understand that, I LOVE her!"_

_I forced myself out of his grip, stepping back, taking in his hurtful words. Certainly, I had felt these emotions from him, but he had never voiced them. Hearing his vow of love for her hurt more than I ever expected, squeezing my stone heart with each syllable. _

"_But…what about us?" I forced myself to look at him, his bottom lip between his teeth, his black hair hanging down, partially covering the red of his eyes. Faded blue shadows curved under his them, giving way to perfect alabaster skin. _

_Never had I seen a more beautiful creature. _

_Hanging his head, he sat on a boulder. "Jasper, my love, I will never feel for another what I feel for you." _

_He was telling the truth, I could easily tell as he continued. "But with Charlotte, I have a chance to be…normal. "_

"_Normal?" I laughed angrily. "You're a fucking vampire, Peter, how is that normal?" He rose and walked over to me, taking my hands in his. _

"_Jasper, I didn't want to tell you like this, but Charlotte and I have been planning," he hesitated, unsure how to, or if he should, continue."Planning to run away. We have just been waiting until the time was right."_

"_You were going to leave me?" Shocked, I stumbled backwards._

"_No, no," he quickly corrected me."We were going to ask you to go with us."_

_I shook my head at the absurdity of his suggestion. As if I could leave, as if I could escape Maria and her hold on me. "I can't leave, and you know it."_

"_You can. Please Jasper," he begged."Come with us…with me." I had been so wrapped up in our conversation, in Peter, that I hadn't heard her approach until it was too late. She came up behind me, placing a hand on my shoulder. _

"_Please, Jasper," she walked around to stand before me. "Please come with us. Peter needs you." _

_The look they exchanged was one of pure and utter love. The kind of love I would never know, could never even begin to hope for. Hope was something I had given up on decades ago, something that was only attainable to those that lived a different life._

_Certainly not for someone like me. _

"_Jasper," she continued."Peter has told me about you…and him. I accept it. I believe there is no limit to the amount of love one person can have. I also believe that we cannot control who we love." Smiling, she reached out and placed her cold palm on my cheek. "Please say you will come with us?"_

_It was not my place. I had had Peter's love for three solid years, it was her turn with him, it was my turn to let him go. _

"_No," I answered, my hands clenching at my sides. "But if either of you want to survive, I suggest you go." Confused, they both stared at me."Now!" I roared._

_Charlotte jumped, snapping her hand back from my cheek. Peter grabbed her hand in his, tugging her along as he began to walk backwards, his eyes never leaving mine. Obeying, she turned her back on me, offering me the perfect opportunity to take her down, to rid him of her, leaving him for myself. _

_But I stood there and watched them leave, watched mi amor as he whispered, "I love you," before finally turning and sprinting away from me. Even though I could shed no tears, the venom pooled in my eyes as I finally lost sight of them. _

_Hours later, I returned to Maria, to killing, to war…without Peter. _

**~~**

Sighing, my eyes scanned the river once again. He was late, and he was fucking never late. After receiving word from him six months ago that he and Charlotte were back in Texas, I had debated on contacting him. It had been five years, five very long years since he and Charlotte had walked out of my life, out of my hell. I had continued to aide Maria, although with each kill, with each battle, I began to lose more of myself. Something was wrong with me - I ached internally, not in my marble skin or solid bone, but inside my mind and my heart. While my military skills were being put to use, it was not a path I had chosen and I wanted nothing more than to escape the death and mayhem that surrounded me every day.

Peter was back and wanted to see me.

I wanted to see him too. This I would not deny.

Lost in my thoughts, I barely heard the twig snap several hundred yards behind me. Tilting my head to the side, I called out to him. "You're late." I tried hard to hold back the smile tugging at my lips. As much as I hurt, I was excited to see him.

Instantly he was behind me, his arms wrapped around my waist, snaking under my overcoat, his nose buried in my blond waves at the nape of my neck. "Jasper," he whispered lovingly. There was no sense even pretending I could resist, instead, my body leaned back into him, my hands covering his at my waist.

It was still there, his love for me poured from his body, creating an aura around him that I basked in.

"Peter," I sighed. He was home, and in my arms once again. In his hold on me, I turned to face him, smiling fully before leaning in to stake claim on his lips. They were cold, hard, smooth and fucking delicious as I brushed mine over them, reacquainting myself with his taste. When his hands moved up to my hair, holding me to him, I moaned and parted my lips to deepen the kiss, which he returned, his venom-coated tongue twisting with mine.

Parting, I gratefully looked him over. As I brushed his hair from his face, thick lashes lined his beautiful scarlet eyes, and his skin sparkled in the midday sun.

If I had any breath to take, he would be breathtaking.

"You haven't changed," I joked, grazing my fingers down his cheek to trace his lips, which spread wide in a grin.

"Neither have you, my love," he kissed me one last time before pulling away from me. Immediately, I sensed the change in his emotions and quickly adjusted my own.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I want to ask you something, Jasper," he said as he took my hand in his and led me to a nearby fallen log. Motioning for me to sit, I declined, my body already in flight or fight mode.

Knowing me as well as he did, he nodded in understanding.

"What?" I made no attempt at hiding my emotions, allowing them to float around me freely, my confusion, sadness, and worry clearly sitting thick in the air between us. He shook his head, trying to prevent my emotions from overtaking his, from overpowering what he wanted, or needed, to express to me.

"I," he began."No, _we_, want you to join us."

Confused at his request, I stared at him, waiting for more, which he gave. "Charlotte has, ah, noticed I have not been the same since I left you. She claims I have become withdrawn and sullen. That I am not the same man she fell in love with. "

"Please continue," I implored, finally sitting down next to him, resting my hand on his knee. Looking down at it, he covered mine with his own, entwining his fingers with mine.

"Jasper, without you near, I don't smile, or laugh. Even though we are not in battle, I have no sense of calm. Yes, we live a war-free existence, but my spirit knows no peace without you in my life. "

Speechless, I concentrated not on his words, but rather the feeling that hovered around them. The sense of love, wanton and genuine, besieged me, lifting my spirit higher than I had ever known.

"But-"

His finger on my lips stopped me. "Please let me finish." I nodded, and he continued."I can feel your hesitation, and I understand it. But please Jasper, understand me, and what I am asking. Charlotte may have requested I come to you, but only because she realized I cannot continue to exist without you in my life. She has witnessed my degrading life, and no matter what she has done in an attempt to console me, I have not improved. My only moments of bliss are when I remember you, recall our love making, and your dimpled smile."

At these words, I could not resist offering him my dimpled smile. "Peter," I couldn't continue. I should not have even considered leaving with him. Charlotte was still in his life. If she was his mate for eternity, where did I fit in?

While his words lifted me, soothed me beyond anything I had never known, they were still just words.

Only I knew better. My gift allowed me to know better, to read that he was telling me the truth, that his world was nothing without me in it.

"Please, my love, please will come with me," he begged. Standing, I walked to the river's edge, crouching down to dip my hand in the ice cold water. It felt wet, but no different, no colder, than my very own skin. White froth gathered around the rocks, distorting my face in my reflection, as I stared into my own red eyes.

I had few memories of my human life, barely recalling my mother and younger sister. My strongest memory was watching my father work the fields one day, the horse and plow connected to him via a thick leather strap. Sweat ran down his face as the hot Texas sun beamed down on him. Walking next to him, I had assisted him by keeping the horse at a steady even pace while he spoke to me about honor, and respect, not only to the woman I would marry, but to myself.

"_Son," he said."In order to live your life to the fullest, you need three things. First, you need a good woman that will love you, and will bare you children to carry on your name. Second, no matter how big or how small, you need land to call your own. And lastly, you need respect. Respect from your wife, children, and townsfolk. If you don't have these things, son, you can't respect yourself. Remember that…" his voice trailed off as he wiped the sweat from his brow._

"I remember, Pa," I whispered into the river. I would never have a wife, or children to carry on the Whitlock name. Nor would I have land to call my own, having to be constantly on the move to remain hidden.

But respect I had. I had the respect of my enemies, and of those that followed me. However, I had little respect for myself and the life I was leading. It had not been my choice to lead this life of strife and war, but I _could_ choose to leave it.

It would be my retribution to Maria. My justice for the life that _she_ chose for me, forced upon my young self. She had had no respect for my human life then, but I could return the favor by leaving her command. Without me, her army would fall apart, they would implode upon themselves without my training or emotional influence.

Battles would be lost, death would come to many. Perhaps even Maria. I owed her nothing.

With an unnecessary deep breath, I stood and tilted my head up the heavens above. As I basked in the new found feeling of warmth on my skin from the sun, I closed my eyes and vowed. "For you, father."

I then turned to Peter and with one simple word, I embraced a new existence, a new lifestyle. One not full of death and destruction, but rather of possibility, respect, and love.

One of hope.

Reaching a hand out to Peter, silently asking him to accept me, I smiled before I spoke.

"Yes."

**~~**

Thanks for reading. This was my first time playing with canon (if you could call him that) Vampsper. This was not supposed to be a slash story, but when Jasper speaks, I listen.


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